Linux commands: The funny linux commands
Hope you enjoy these funny Linux commands as much as I did:
% cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans
% nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.
% "How would you rate Quayle's incompetence?
Unmatched ".
% Unmatched ".
Unmatched ".
% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].
% ^How did the sex change operation go?^
Modifier failed.
% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.
% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
% sleep with me
bad character
% got a light?
No match.
% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
% !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
% %blow
%blow: No such job.
% \(-
(-: Command not found.
$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!
$ drink matter
matter: cannot create
Linux commands
Funny
by Frank @ 1:20 PM
49 comments
49 Comments:
Great stuff. I never new how much of a sense of humor linux had.
Cool ! Linux commands at their best :D
more please, I feel I will learn "Linux" easier by this way :)
haha that stuff is great, on the digg frontpage already :P
Too much spare time on your hands.
I'm getting old.
I loved these the first time I saw them in 86 on usenet. I was using a dummy VT102 terminal to connect my student UNIX account at UTexas.
I tried most of them and showed them off for weeks.
ccbbb23
retarded
On a Debian-based box (Debian, Ubuntu, etc.) become root and then do "apt-get moo".
Very, very funny :)
Ubuntu rocks :D
Ronnie @ prankvideoz.com
There is a real command:
$ddate
Today is Sweetmorn, the 42nd day of Bureaucracy in the YOLD 3173
That was brilliant (y)
I love these little "perl"s. Yes, they are (and my own) bad jokes. But they are amusing little bits. Sometimes the programmer put in amusing responses, sometimes they are intentional (See also apt-get moo comment).
Love it.
hilarious :))
What Shell manager are you using?
Bash doesn't achieve most of those tricks
Since it gives you a chance > to complete the command
That must be very old, none of'em working right now :|
Of course if you tried any of these, you'd discover that they don't really work. They used to work, on different NON-Linux operating systems. They are funny, but why call them linux messages when they are not? You clearly posted these without actually trying them.
Thats funny 'apt-get moo' he he he!
ermm... I got one... ermm... no i don't... (damn it)
i'm on ubuntu linux! lemme try these commands in my distro
Mike from
http://www.iwannamakemoneyonline.com
Seen them before, but still hilarious. Haven't seen the divorce one though, ha ha.
While on aptitude, try the aptitude -v moo, and then keep replacing -v with -vv and then by -vvv and so on.
.... or you can"
you can touch files and finger people. for example:
to create a file called me, you'd say:
touch me
to find (finger) my username on a linux machine (or server):
finger ryan aghdam
fantastic
> On a Debian-based box (Debian, Ubuntu, etc.) become root and then do "apt-get moo".
yes, and then do "apt-get moo -v"
(add more "v"!)
Have you ever tried them?
The orignal story was with UNIX(r) commands.
These are published on the net for year.
I know every joke is new for a baby...
Well.. All but three diddn't work
Linux? Those look like Unix commands to me.
Put up more of these, these are great!
Free SigChat
You don't need to be root to run apt-get on debian. You need to be root to run "apt-get install" or something similar, but anything else you run without priviledges.
apt-get moo , rocks!
Don't forget the "apt-get moo" command...
so funny... but in a groan and smile sort of way
I'm sure they used to work, but they don't now (at least in Bash).
@the last anonymous coward, try saying that with a screenname.
Totally out of date - only 1 or two of these should even work anymore.
I'm still grinning. Thanks.
I think the standard make used to do :
$make love
Not war?
Digital Equipment Corporation's TOPS-10 operating system in response to the command: make love:
not war?
This doesn't work.
[wattersm@mistakes] ~ >> man why did you get a divorce?
No manual entry for why
No manual entry for did
No manual entry for you
No manual entry for get
No manual entry for a
No manual entry for divorce?
Brilliant!
Very nice. XD
@DJ Gentoo
Try being less of a neckbeard.
very funny.. thanks
fresh idea...excellent
xD phun!
lol. awesome.
None of these I tested worked for me. I am using BASH of course.
try the apt-get alternative, aptitude.
aptitude moo
aptitude -v moo
aptitude -v -v moo
...
That was funny as hell, great compilation!
All languages should be like this.
Only one worked for me, and I like it better:
andrew@lynx ~ $ ^How did the sex change operation go?^
bash: :s^How did the sex change operation go?^: substitution failed
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